Croakers and Croaked

Two topics, both so equally intriguing that I couldn't choose one from the other so...

Today boys and girls, we will learn about ambulance chasing news reporters and confused scientists
Scientists and the media have been attempting to pull a fast one on us. They have been telling us (for quite some time now) that frog tadpoles limbs are falling off due to human pollution. Thankfully, a real scientist remembered the "Observe" part of the scientific method. Unlike the others who got stuck at the first step (hypothesis, observation, conclusion). So we come to find that the poor frogs arn't losing limbs to evil men with their evil trucks and their evil free economy and their evil capitalism and their evil gun rights (oh sorry, got a little carried away). No not at all. Well what then?
Nature.
Yep, turns out dragon flies are the culprit.
These poor, defenseless tadpoles were losing limbs to that vicious thing we like to call
Mother Nature
Ive heard frog legs are tasty...

SO, BILLY MAYS IS DEAD
THAT IS UNFORTUNATE FOR ALL OF YOU HEARING IMPAIRED.
BUT FOR THE REST OF CIVILIZATION ...
LONG LIVE INFOMERCIALS WHERE ANNOYING SALES PEOPLE USE THEIR
inside voices

Michael Jackson Must Have Been God

So I don't get it.
I mean, I really don't get it.
True, Michael Jackson was a brilliant artist.
Had some of the greatest pop music of all time but...
As soon as Michael Jackson died a number of odd occurrences took place.
1) I received 19 texts telling me that he passed (really wow)
2) I tuned in to my favorite radio station (John, Jay, and Rich) to hear a woman crying no sorry, wailing because Michael Jackson, a man she never really knew, died.
3) I attempted to escape the wailing woman by switching radio stations, but alas, all radio waves were ether taken up by complaining people or something along the lines of "cause this is thriller, thriller night, And no ones gonna save you from the beast about strike"
4) I arrived at work (hoping to take shelter from the Jackson barrage within) where someone actually had enough guts to ask if we all could get off early because Michael Jackson died (what the heck???)

Really???
Are people this desperate?
There was a reason why Jackson was in the news for everything other than his music.
Sorry, but the dude was crazy.
"Cause We're The Party People Night And Day, Livin' Crazy That's The Only Way"
Anyway
- Who bleaches their skin
- Had numerous facial jobs
- Child Molestation Charges
-Wonder if he thought he looked good after his plastic surgeries (ah well, guess will never know)
-Need I say more???

For all you Jackson fans, Don't worry Michaels not dead he's with Elvis...